May 2013
30 posts
nickmoorexvx:
Yesterday a guy came up to me at work was like “How are you ever going to get a job with all those piercings?”
I’ll say that again.
A guy came up to me
at work
and asked “How are you ever going to get a job with all those piercings?”
3 tags
indentured mastication
I almost hacked my hair to eradicate the remnants of thoughts that sprouted from parts of my mind that had grown moldy. Yet there were no scissors in your crude bathroom. Instead, I settled for a sharp stare in the mirror, cursing the shards of color in my irises that broadcast my incumbent infirmity, and blessing them all the same.
“If you are a white woman and you want to call yourself a feminist, you must...”
– ladyatheist (via ellesugars)
cornchipz:
awkwardcontent:
Fun fact: Humans are deuterostomes, which means that when they develop in the womb the anus forms before any other opening. Which basically means at one point you were nothing but an asshole.
some people never develop beyond this stage
Argument I heard on the bus
Guy 1: no, niggah, gay bros can raise babies. Look at that warthog motherfucker and that ferret thing that raised Simba. And that niggah became king of motherfucking Africa.
Watchdootzy:
this video will make your day better
3 tags
Shelley: You've had that drill for years and you always complain about it.
Shelley's Dad: I haven't had it for years!
Shelley: How long have you had it?
Shelley's Dad: Two years.
Shelley: ...
person: she--
me: it's he.
person: *condescending smile* well, on your birth certificate--
me: yeah, it also says ' 8lbs, 6 oz ' -- a lot has changed over the years
April 2013
80 posts
1 tag
In my dreams I tend to attempt killing people,
and wrap strings loosely around my sentiments
so as not to let them get far from me.
shagmestyles:
In grade 3 people used to bully me and call me donkey because apparently I looked like one and I would always reply with “Donkeys are cute therefore i’m cute!” And one day this kid was like, ” No donkeys are ugly creatures that poor people use for transportation” and I replied with “AT LEAST PEOPLE LIKE TO RIDE ME!” And my teacher started laughing and I didn’t know why until today...
1 tag
Watchstr8nochaser:
brandnewjones:
drunkonstephen:
Stephen Colbert & Alan Cumming sing Oopsie-daisy Homophobe in response to Brad Paisley and LL Cool J’s Accidental Racist.
I. Am. DONE. DONE, you hear me??????
